More than a bra size -Modern Day Womanhood

Glad to see that social media is showing women around the world a ton of love on this chilly yet comfortable International Women’s Day! From hashtags to visions of power and prevail, seeing all of the support, feeling inspiration through pictures, and pawning over the powerful stories of women from many nations makes me feel compelled to share my world. In a day in age where we as a nation seem to be growing more divided and complex by the minute, it is an extreme joy to extend recognition and to embrace the celebration of women past and present, for their thoughts, experiences, and achievements in not only my country but around the world. For those overlooked, for those pushed into the shadows and for those who refuse to accept a secondary position in a world that’s equally theirs, today we celebrate YOU- your visions, your goals, your actions, and your activism.

I admire the strength, determination, and perseverance that we share in womanhood. When I look in a mirror and admire the qualities and traits of the woman staring back at me, I cannot help but contemplate what it truly means to be a woman in today’s world. In many History classes around America, we are taught about the evolution of women over time yet only on a minimal scale- and by “taught”, I mean thrown a few chapters and a few PowerPoints and expected to value a struggle way deeper than the pages of any book. Can you fathom a world where women don’t have the right to learn? Guess what people? These places exist all around the world. Though NO place has truly formulated a plan to adequately execute true equality, even for those countries who are close, it is still not close enough. My mom used to tell me, “close only counts in horseshoes” LOL- Gotta love mommy wisdom right!?!?
Some women will die never knowing what it feels like to be treated like a human, like an equal, like anything outside of an investment or a housemaid. Some places more inclusive in their education of women, while others still severely lack, the same points seem to be glossed over in our schoolbooks.  Women all around the world have historical connections rooted in activism and equalities much further back then one may imagine. Ever heard of Elizabeth Stanton? Her platform stretches back to the 1840s. YES- not the 1900’s or the 2000’s. Do yall hear me? I said 1840’s! Even speaking out for rights and equality way back when… this social injustice and cultural complacency is not just a problem in today’s world, it is something that has and will likely continue to plague our future generations to come. Standing for the rights of our ancestors, our mothers, our friends, and our daughters, we will win. As a millennial thriving to overcome ageism, as an African-American thriving to overcome racism, and as a mother thriving to build a world less shallow and divided for my daughter than the one in which we live today,  I stand with you all.

As women, some of the most significant lessons we learn along the way are often the ones that no books could ever teach us. The things that you can only learn through experiences. Crazy how life lessons seem to be the best precursor of our future endeavors good, bad, or indifferent. Do today what your future will thank you for later.
In 2018 everyone has a 'list' so why not share mine. Here are a few things that textbooks don't teach you about being a woman but EVERY lady needs to acknowledge.

** Worrying about how much skin you show in fear of not being labeled in the office. No respectable woman wants to be labeled the  “hot piece of ass” or the girl that’s “letting it all hang out”- No one tells you that simply based upon the body parts GOD gave you, a person can think they know you and what you care about. I'm guilty. I have judged others based on this, is it fair? NO. Will I think twice before forming a judgment? YES.

**Never smiling too terribly long at men you do not know. Have you ever been somewhere and you gave the wrong person a half-smile and that started a pursuit of awkward run-ins around the store and creepy smiles from afar? We should not live in a world where a smile is an unspoken authorization to a stalker session or provokes a creepy action. Can we live? and live normally? I am POSITIVE that the term "resting bitch face” originated because of some  “thirsty” guy. Some man, somewhere, just didn’t get that damn hint and was greeted with a “come at me bro, Ill punch you” stare by a woman LOL Its cause and effect at its finest. When men make a smile an avoidable task, you know the world is gone to hell in a handbasket.

**No one ever told me that when you go to automotive stores or dealerships, people will suggest you take a man with you? Why? Because unfortunately some egotistical, out of touch men in auto service, still envision women as less educated in things outside of child-bearing and housework. Those bastards can rot. They try to “dumb down” their analysis, while inflating their diction in hopes that they are using words you do not know, all the while hiking prices up on the low. Some, certainly not all, will try to pull the rug right from beneath us, in hopes that we smile, curtsey, and nod in agreeance…. NOPE, this a different type of party in today’s world. There is no longer a valid reason to just not know shit. Above all else, we have GOOGLE if all else fails... c'mon we all know Google wins every time, duh.
So trust me the automotive world, some of us know MUCH more than you think and what we don't know we can learn … the joke is on you. For the women that don’t know better, it’s totally cool, car stuff is dumb and VERY confusing, but super important nonetheless. **Disclaimer I  only know the bare minimum. For the sake of transparency, I often question what I actually even know about cars every time an instance rolls around that actually requires action, but whatever. Just find you a squad where at least 2 girls know a shit ton of car stuff and everyone wins! :) Share ideas. Be each other's army. Hell with car knowledge it takes a village, right?LOL. Ladies two things you should never say to a mechanic:

“I'm clueless”-that’s just a way of them pinning you with a ton of repairs you likely don’t need. Never go into anything telling people you know nothing, even if you don't. You are setting your own trap.

"Sure, do whatever”. NO, do not “do whatever”. Focus on the problem and get a second or even third opinion if you feel you are being shafted; just a little advice

** Your biggest competition will be yourself. No one taught me that in school. Maybe a missed a few chapters. In today’s age of Kardashian limelight and Love and Hip Hop mentalities, sometimes we get in our own way before anyone else can. I know a ton of women and a common thread I see is the need for “dopeness”. Sometimes the facade women feel obligated to perpetuate is not because that is necessarily their reality, its simplicity makes for a better story.  Like Charlemagne, the God from the Breakfast Club famously says, "No one believes the truth when the lie is more entertaining". Unfortunately, the only place story mode exists in video games. Don’t measure your cuteness, your success, your worth, or your goals off the illusions or inflation of someone else’s life- walk in YOUR truth and remain humble to your future.

** Be ready to be called bad names and insulted when you turn a guy down on a date or a phone number exchange.  MY GOD these situations can't just be civil huh? Though there are still a few men that can accept a “hey, I'm just not into you” type of situation… for many guys especially in social settings, they just can’t deal with rejection. Luckily, I am happily taken and no longer partaking in such fuckery LOL  However I  still advocate for my sisters walking in their single lady swag!  I mean seriously ladies… this is an insane epidemic that must be stopped. It is borderline up there with men that wear skinny jeans, and nail bitters LOL #TheWORST. C'mon how unfair. 99% of the men I know don't have to fear their overbearing and aggressive gender counterparts, seems to be more of a woman battle. Ladies have much tougher skin and MOST of the time can notice the vibes of potential rejection (the sane ones anyway) but GUYS, again, not so much.

Ever been called a bitch because you said you are not interested? Ever had a guy tell you “…well fuck you then”. PRETTY FREAKING HARSH right? Yeah, that happens (sorry for the language, but reality sucks sometimes). Being pursued by an aggressive and overly self-absorbed stranger is never fun; it is annoying and predatory. ** Let’s do an experiment. Ask a group of men and women separately to describe a time they had an encounter with a “crazy” person of the opposite sex they weren't interested in. Some guys are guaranteed to talk about a girl who hacked their social media, hit him with a pan or maybe even used a GPS tracker LOL... YES, those people are loony tunes...but the experiences of us women are guaranteed to be much crazier and a shit ton more intense.

The moral of the story is, being a woman is tough. It's brutal and you have to deal with a shit ton of things you never signed up for; society is wacky, period. BUT with that being said, womanhood is beautiful, it's pure, it's inspiring, it's riveting, it's empowering, it's me!
Happy National Women's Day Everyone!

Until next time...