Top 3 Must-See Podcasts Of Quarantine 2020

During this crazy, catastrophic, mess of a year, 2020 is on the bottom of a lot of people's shit lists. Though it has been one of the most uncertain periods of my entire lifetime, there are certainly silver linings that have come as a result of it. We all have spent more time than we probably ever imagined in the house. For most people, this pandemic caused us to pause and take a hard reset. For those with the opportunity to quarantine at home, the time allowed us to indulge in things that work and everyday life took away. Whether it be more time with family, a good Netflix series, or some much-needed self-care, I think it's safe to say we all had time to learn something new. For me, this was an opportunity to explore the wonderful world of podcasts and learn more about the dope entrepreneurs’ behind them!

If you are new to podcasts, it’s a way to turn any topic into a good time, on your own time. Easy to download, easy to access, and easy to archive; it just makes sense. Now, instead of hearing the same mainstream music played repeatedly on our favorite stations... instead, you can hear real-life commentary about the topics that interest you. In a world that requires me to talk for a living, I never imagined intentionally signing up to hear a stranger’s opinion. I realize that it's like a good bra, the key is finding the perfect fit! Podcast creates an entirely new space to say what you want. Unlike social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, it doesn’t limit you by characters and instead gives you a new way to connect with the world. No topics are off-limits. Regardless of your interest, with over 700,000 active podcasts, there is always something out there to tickle your pickle. 

Now, let’s be honest, there is a ton of noise out there. Good, bad, or indifferent, people have something to say and rightfully so. With the expediential growth of podcasts on sites such as YouTube, the need is certainly there!  According to Podcast demographics, 68 million people listen to a weekly podcast, and podcast listeners subscribe to an average of 6 shows. So, when you pick one, remember the bra example and be choosy 😊 

Now be mindful, my taste in podcasts may not be yours. I’m open, opinionated, and always down to hear someone else’s view. So, during the quarantine, I tapped into a few podcasts that in one way or another, have put me on to knowledge. From culture to sex, all the bases are covered and I am all here for it! If you are in the market for something new to watch/listen to…. here are my recommendations for the top 3 Podcast I’ve stumbled across during this downtime! 

# 1- Million Dollar Worth of Game- If the name doesn’t entice you enough, the content most certainly will. Hosted by social media influencer, Walo 267 and rapper, writer Gillie da Kid, the genuine chemistry these two share not only creates a TON of laughs, but given their respective backgrounds, shortcomings, and success stories, the podcast touches on a little bit of everything. As one of the few podcasts that own their intellectual property, this team is one I will be cheering on for a long time! 

Now I wouldn’t be doing the podcast any justice if I didn’t provide some background on the hosts. In the 1990s Walo was sentenced to a 20-year prison bid for armed robbery. For those that feel that people released from prison never learn from their mistakes, you are sadly mistaken. Walo was released in 2017 and since then has continued to build his empire with skills, talent, and knowledge established behind bars. He is now an author, entrepreneur and alongside his cousin Gillie, recently signed a lucrative contract with Barstool Sports. Now those “Stories from the Cell” have some major backing behind it! 

Gillie, on the other hand, is the ‘big cuz” and reps Philly to the death (Big Shout Out to Philadelphia). As a ghostwriter for some of your favorite rappers, favorite rapper, Gillie is the real deal and his perspectives always get a rise. He often shares hilarious videos on social media and his street perspective mixed with his unfiltered antics has earned him over 87K followers on Twitter! Whether he is talking about his long-term relationship or clowning his cousin Walo on Instagram, he is always guaranteed to make you laugh and provide a controversial response on just about ANY topic. From marriage to music, Gillie covers all the bases. Known for his brass tone and strong opinions, his humor and authenticity make the show a must-see!

Recently added on the show is Mona, known as @dntcallmewhitegirl on Instagram and Twitter. She is a comedian that brings that little sister vibe to the podcast. Walo and Gillie aren’t the easiest to reel in, but like every big fish, the right bait gets the job done. My love for Mona is a bit biased because she reminds me of all my friends and cousins back home! I just want to take a shot and talk life with her. She is a wonderful addition to the show😊 

Now if you are easily offended or consider yourself a few calls away from being a “Karen”, stop now, this one may not be your vibe. However, if you are prepared for some real talk, good laughs, and a little Philly action, you will be just at home with this one. Much love to the big bros and big sis! 

 #2- JK Bros Reaction Videos- Often when you think of Canada, you envision the best Maple Syrup, the cleanest air, and the place that many Americans would LOVE to migrate to nowadays. However, what I had no idea about, was the amazing talent and humor coming straight from the beautiful city of Montreal! For those unfamiliar with reaction videos, YouTube has created a space where now most of our music comes straight from the source. With that said, today's success in the music game often starts and ends with fan reactions! After all, no one wants to hear a song, everyone considers trash. During the quarantine, I made an office in the only halfway available room in my new house… my husband's mancave. Though the noise of Call of Duty and Madden is deafening at times, at least in the process of this man cave/office integration, he exposed me to this phenomenal duo and MAN, am I happy he did! 

Following the common thread of many of my favorite podcasts, authenticity is KEY! There is certainly no shortage of that with these guys. Kosta and John have quickly become two of my favorite YouTube people. As a HUGE music lover, I'll be the first admit, music videos went out the window, around the time MTV's TRL with Carson Daly did. I rarely got on YouTube, and though my music knowledge runs deep, with the recent wave, I knew songs, but not faces. Thanks to these guys, some of the hottest up and coming artists are now on my radar! Such talents like Montana 300, Dax, and Jelly Roll. Quickly growing from 20,000 subscribers to 50, 000 subscribers and counting… this dynamic duo just makes it happen. It’s cool to see the vibe is still solid. These two don’t try to be fancy, they remain true to who they are and their genuine appreciation for all their new fans! That is exactly why I love them! Just two high school buddies, working, building, and creating together. While one is always hype and the other more analytical, their music knowledge is as equally as impressive as their connection! 

Guaranteed to always bring out laugher and a genuine connection between friends, if you are a music person and like to hear funny yet thought-provoking feedback, check out the homies! Like peanut butter and jelly, batman and robin, and ranch and salad (side note: if you don’t like ranch, you’re a hater lol) …. these two, just go together! 

At the end of the day, these guys are worried about one thing, “THE BARRRRS BRO”! With music, a few hilarious technical hiccups, and a McCafé on hand, their podcast is worth checking out. Sending the homies in Montreal, happiness, health, continued friendship, and a bigger bag. These two are stars in the making. 

#3- Dumb Blonde- So let’s not get it twisted, there isn’t anything dumb about this one. Don’t let the name fool you! As a woman always looking to uplift other women, I would never introduce a woman by saying, “this is ___ wife”. How rude, that’s some 1940’s shit. Instead, I get to introduce Bunnie XO, based on her accomplishments first, and then we can talk about who she is married to later! GIRL POWER 😊 Now, to know Bunnie, is to know that she is no saint and totally open about it. She is no rookie at the game of life and has taken some shitty experiences and with them,  molded a life that she lives on her own terms; she's such a badass! As the owner of Dumb Blonde Productions, this woman is a jack of all trades. From Vegas to one of the top Only Fans pages in 2020, the girl knows how to secure the bag! (YASSS sis,) Yet again, totally guilty of loving her because yep you guessed it, she could TOTALLY be one of my friends back home. Fun, flirty, sassy, and thugged out when need be!

I first heard about Bunnie through their YouTube show, Meet the DeFords. Viewers had the chance to get a sneak peek into the life and the ups and downs that come with the entertainment industry. Always open and honest, she gained some additional notoriety after a “breakup vlog” she made about her and husband, Rapper Jelly Roll that received almost 170,000 views.  As this was a  relationship that many of us loved, it sucked to see them apart, and many fans cheered on a reunion! Fast-forward to today, Jelly and Bunnie XO are back together, still happily married, and the money just keeps rolling in for them both. Bunnie recently leaped out on fate and evolved her vlog, into a podcast. Launched earlier this year, “Your Favorite Female Shock Jock”, opens the podcast in lingerie, a fur, and a good pair of heels, my kind of girl! Her podcast touches on a little bit of everything and more importantly, she talks about real shit! The stuff that some would shy away from, Bunnie goes straight for it. During her Podcast, she often reads embarrassing sex stories shared by her fans too! When you subscribe, brace yourself, they get crazy! Either take out a notebook and write down some tips or share in a good laugh, either way, it won't disappoint.

The best thing about the Dumb Blonde podcast is how she relates to other women and encourages them to own who they are. From a woman that has lived, she shares tips, ideas, and encouragement for women to let loose and have some fun in life! She is certainly not politically correct and that's what makes this podcast worth watching! Often sent fun little gifts from America's favorite source for adult toys, Adam and Eve, sex is a common topic! If you are a prude, WARNING WARNING, you may want to pass. BUT, if you are looking for a down to earth woman, speaking her mind, unafraid of her past, or future, and totally in love with being a great stepmom and wife…. Bunnie XO is a subscription you must make.

Between their YouTube show Meet the DeFord’s and her raw and unfiltered podcast, Bunnie XO keeps herself busy and will certainly keep you entertained. From dildos to prison hacks, no topic is off-limits. Sending her all the love and continued success! 

So, there they are guys, my top 3 podcasts of the quarantine 2020! I hope you all take the time to relax and get caught up with the world outside of your front yard. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe! You will NOT be disappointed! With any of these three podcasts, you can't go wrong! I've opened up my comment section (finally), so let me know what you think! 

Be Safe, Be Smart, and wear the damn mask!

…. Until next time my friends. 

America Experiences a Hard Reset: 2020 in a Nutshell

So here we are 2020. This year was supposed to be everything! We lit up social media in 2019 with encouragement, high hopes, and well wishes. As we anticipated an ass-kicking start to a new decade, we wanted all the rah-rah shish boom bah and bells and whistles that came with it. Presumptuous? Maybe a little, but many of us were all in for a good year. The nation has been one big stressful, super intense mess lately, so a good 365 was far overdue, right? WRONG or at least so far; 2020 may not be what we hoped for. 

While I should be blogging about my latest Netflix addiction, "The Circle" or dishing on how freaking adorable I think Lauren and Cameron are from "Love is Blind", instead, I can't get past how shitty this year has started and I have a few thoughts about it. Perspective, it's only March and most of us can agree, that describing this year as shitty would be a total understatement. Can we agree? Agreed. So lets dish about a few things that rocked my little millennial brain so far in 2020... 

As the oddly optimistic person I am, I'll still be the first to admit that shit has gone haywire. This is probably the most confusing, nerve-wracking, disruption to the normalcy most of us have ever seen! Normally, I don’t sit around and reflect on all the bad things happening in our world; I am no 'Debbie Downer', I promise.  Under normal circumstances, I would consider doing so, pretty self-sabotaging & counterproductive. However, maybe a moment of transparency & perspective wouldn't hurt. Meh. It’s kind of like writing a reflective piece about a moment in time, while still very much so living through it. Like words in a diary, one day I load up this blog and relive the moment… perfect description of my intent with this piece. 

First, let’s talk Mother Earth, and the wreck we have caused:

The wildfires in Australia was my first big heartbreak observation of 2020. To me, that’s the place I envision on the postcards, the utopia ‘must visit’ on your bucket list, and the place that exemplifies all things tranquil and beautiful. When I heard the news, the researcher in me went wild with curiosity. I spent endless time on google blitzes, tears streaming, reading more and more about this tragic nightmare. Over 25 million acres burned and a jaw-dropping 1.25 BILLION, yes Billion with a capital B…. animals were lost. Do you understand what that means for their ecosystems? Even with my minimal (verrryyyy minimal Science background,), even I understand that the entire foundation of an ecosystem is based around connectivity. With the death and destruction scarred into the minds of us all, the biodiversity that Australia provides to the world is unreplaceable. 

 The Tragic Loss of Kobe Bryant.

It's not just the loss that sent ripples throughout the world, but rather the circumstances and tragedy that surrounded it. As a mother, the thought of living in this world without my child is unthinkable. To hear about the tragic loss of such an iconic American figure like Kobe Bryant and the equally tragic loss of  8 other beautiful souls, one being his daughter Gigi, it rocked me from the inside out. Families are torn apart forever to never be the same, all in the blink of an eye. Kobe died doing what he told us all he planned to do more of in retirement, being a dad. Tearjerker. Every. Single. Time. 

Even to the most minimal sports fan, Kobe Bryant meant something to our generation. We all knew who he was, and we all agreed he was legendary- didn’t need to know much more. As a millennial, our generation has experienced some heartbreaking losses, but this one hit hard. Similar to the famous passing of Michael Jackson, everyone will likely remember where they were when they heard the news.  When Kobe died, the initial rumors ran rampant. Was it true?  No way, right? Cant be Kobe.

… Unfortunately, totally true. For the next few weeks, memorials and tributes flooded the airways. Often too hard to get through one interview or media story, for me, tears became synonymous with hearing his name. And his wife, Vanessa, oh, my word, bless her entire soul. The devastation and sadness I felt for her were one of the most authentic feelings I’ve ever experienced with and for a stranger. Her husband and her daughter, tragically killed is enough sorrow to put down the strongest of person. I have a daughter. I have a husband. It hit way too close to home.  

From the Staples Center to the tributes around the world, at that moment, American society seemed to be overcome with a stillness that shocked and rocked us generationally. Another heartbreaking 2020 moment...

Meghxit: The Royal Way to Throw the Duces!

Well really need I say more lol. Now I get it. Some people are like “really”? Yes. Really. I had to add it to my list. But for the sake of those who fall asleep at the thought of the Royals, I will make it easy.

Prince Harry (the redhead cutie Royal) married Meghan, an American actress. People were shocked because well, she’s biracial and divorced. It seems fairly typical to me.... but THERE I guess it was just too much to swallow. It quickly became a double-whammy and for this reason, it ROCKED the Royals and became a 2020 story, a BIG ONE! 

Though this doesn’t affect any of us on a personal level, it did, however, highlight race and social stigmas in the UK that unfortunately still exist; that’s the socially heartbreaking aspect. The Meghan and Harry “shake-up” proved that a princess doesn’t have to be white and that it's okay to have a diverse Royal family. As Britain continues to fight back against how they embrace identity and change, ultimately, they both decided to remove themselves from the Royal lens and instead take their chances on fate and each other. It was dishearting to see how oddly infatuated people were with free-will and interracial love..... bad look guys and gals, bad look. The media wrecked Meghan and painted her in a pretty biased lens. To me, they didn't leave these two much of a choice.  Nevertheless, let's move on... 

Last but certainly not least, COVID19 also known as Coronavirus

So, this one probably does not need an explanation, at least not one that I can give at least. As if this year wasn’t going awful enough, now we are witnessing a global pandemic of respiratory disease spreading from person-to-person. Something new, something scary, something unknown, and something that is impacting our country and our world, in ways I’ve never seen before. Here we are March, where the US is typically planning cookouts, preparing for our sports and cheering loud for our favorite teams. Those times are indefinitely on hold this year. Schools are closed, states are shutting down, and there is still so much more to learn about the transmission and treatment of this virus.

As the United States hangs on to the reputation of being one of the wealthiest and equip countries in the world, this tragedy has revealed vulnerabilities in our country’s infrastructure. Hospital and healthcare workers experiencing shortages, and many facilities unprepared to fill the medical demands. Effecting over 186 countries in the world, for the first time that I can remember, the world is facing the uncertainty that none of us were prepared to do. 

Over 200,000 cases worldwide, and most children out of school until the foreseeable future, parents, guardians, and just about anyone else is kind of losing our minds. So much adjustment in such a little time. I encourage all of us to take time to consider the over 1 million homeless children in the United States. The impact on them is sure to be catastrophic and life-changing to say the least. During this time, think about the people that aren’t working remotely, that aren’t getting a paycheck, that can’t get unemployment, those that will lose their homes… times are tough and sure to get a lot tougher in the coming weeks.  

Let us be mindful that we ARE in this together. It may not always seem that way, but we are. Be kind, don’t be crazy. Be aware but don’t be terrified; let’s all do our part to stop the spread. As the social media challenge goes, I stay home for my Veteran Grandpa with Emphysema. I never want him to be apart of a statistic. Think about the people around you, young and old. 

2020 has been garbage so far, fact, fact, fact….  Totally unpredictable, hard to grasp and moving WAY quicker than anyone can keep up with. On the bright side, at least we can wake up to see another day; think about all the people that didn't get the same opportunity. PERSPECTIVE. 

Let's all marinate in the hot mess that has become 2020 and just pray for a healthier, happier, and more unified rest of the year. It's easy to assume that these recent series of events, can tarnish the entire year, but let’s just say… I hope not. We have 9 more months, let's talk some positivity in the face of all these scary uncertainties. 

Be well my friends and until next time.  

More Than Apps and Iphones: Modern Millennials Take Center-Stage

As a thirty-something living, grinding, and trying to make it in this flip-flopped society 2019 has offered up, figuring out what success looks like and how to get there can be difficult. The perception of an ‘ideal’ American lifestyle, with the spouse, few animals, white picket fence and adherence to those played out gender roles, are concepts as outdated as the people that pander these societal biases.  Today, especially for millennial's, things are more expensive, career elevation is a lot less common, college debt is rising,  savings accounts are depleting and achieving that lifestyle we see on shows just aren’t as easily obtained as some would want you to believe.

Despite popular belief, we millennials do work, and we work hard! Although media paints us as lazy yet entitled entities that float through a cloud of continuous confusion seeking handouts and our mothers’ couches…. newsflash we account for a HUGE part of the workforce. 

Just to share again some more findings, nearly 68% of millennial women (aged 16–34) are in the workforce. So, don’t count us out! We have a purpose and we are anxiously waiting to share it with the world. If given the right opportunities, we can surely make an imprint on the future. 

With all that I say, today’s generation moved away from the Lucille Ricardo way of life, to more so the Clair Huxtable way of thinking. ** Disclaimer: if you are a younger reading this, these TV mom examples may be meaningless to you. Allow me to help: ‘I love Lucy’ and the ‘Cosby Show’ are two of the most epic shows of all time (Google it). Set in two different times in history, one shows a woman in the more “housewife” role and the other is more modern in her household dynamic. Sigh, history lessons are tough but hey, you’re welcome 😊). Point being, it’s possible to be the MATRIARCH of a family while holding down a career and a strong household, simultaneously. We are proving that more and more every day. Give us a chance and bet on the future. Bet on us and the future WILL thank you for it later.

While millennials account for the largest generation and the most educated generation let’s be transparent…. we are also the most underpaid, technologically dependent, instant gratification seeking, broke generation as well. Trust me, all cases can be true at the same time! We make less but spend more, so our savings account may not be as meaty as we want, yet oddly enough, most of us walk around with mini-computers in our pockets, drinking cleverly named overpriced coffees and racking up more student loans than most degrees are worth. However, our millennial mindset is what sets us apart from everybody else! Most of us agree that if given the proper support systems, a livable wage and a smidge of opportunity, collectively we can go further than we ever imagined. The sky really isn’t our limit. We actually often catch flack for doing the opposite, living like opportunities are instead limitless.  But how, right?

Today, being a millennial has become more about either proving or disproving the unfair typecasting that we often get lumped into. Most of us realize there is no how-to manual, no app and no one- size fits all approach to how millennials become successful. Now more than ever, we embrace the individuality in the term ‘success’.  No longer does success have to fit a specific mold. Instead, millennials are proving that ‘success’ is more than just a tax bracket. It’s cleaning up your credit, buying your first home before 35 (and that’s a modest age, late ’30s seems more accurate) and figuring out how to not pull your hair out when you pay over $200.00 + a week for childcare cost… yes WEEK, let that be your birth control. Let that idea sink on it….  (YIKES, right?).

Many generations don’t understand that statistically speaking, having kids, buying a home and getting married isn’t something we are rushing to do and that is perfectly fine… at least to us anyways! Millennials are starting families, buying their first homes, and getting married approximately 7-9 years LATER than previous generations. Why you ask? Well…. Again, we are doing more, getting paid less, and checking those societal expectations off our life checklist is handled more like a marathon instead of a sprint… we will get there eventually 😊

Our definition of success may not be that of our parents, we may not share the same political views as our coworkers, and our zest for change and progressive agendas may exhaust our mentors,  but at the end of the day, many millennials embrace uniqueness and reward individuality.

Today, that golden route doesn’t always open the doors to success that we desire, and good behavior doesn’t always warrant upward mobility and a career that allows for a lavish lifestyle… For most of us, breaking even is a much more accurate depiction. What happens then? In a workforce where people are staying employed longer, that means that a majority of top positions are being held for twice as long by baby boomers patiently buying time until retirement. With that said, being young in America isn’t always a net positive. Instead, you encounter a level of ageism in ways people outside of the generational age bracket wouldn’t understand. Too old for a low paying job, but too young for a great paying job? People wonder why millennials are so disoriented, we can’t seem to find our place! Are we waiting in line for opportunities? Or blazing the pathway forward for the future…. Hard to tell nowadays.

So fellow millennials, take this time to ask questions, evaluate historical outcomes, identify opportunities for advancement, invest your money, spend rationally and be vocal in your observations and visions for the future.  Don’t let age define your capabilities. Plant those seeds NOW and later down the road, it is sure to blossom into something phenomenal. Recognize that times have changed and now it's our turn to impact the future. We bring a renewed perspective and we should not be afraid to flaunt it. Make your observations known and collaborate with those young and old, seasoned and rookies, to learn what opportunities you can contribute most to. By finding that special sweet spot, the road toward your passion reveals itself to be much more obtainable than you would imagine.

Love,
A millennial with a purpose!

UNTIL NEXT TIME FRIENDS!...

A 30 somethings take on self-care and self-efficacy; 3 feel good things to keep in mind

Don’t let someone else determine your outcome

Relationships are specials. Bonds can be forever. But none of that is possible until you get better acquainted with yourself. Single in 2019 is comical and a very odd phenomenon that I can gladly say I do not understand. As a recent newlywed, I’ve been out the game for quite some time, and MAN how times have changed. In a current climate of creepy dating sites, phony profiles and ‘marry me in 72 hours” reality shows, the term ‘relationship’ and the term ‘situationship’  (a made-up term that just seems to fit my logic lol) has meshed together to become one in the same. A serious blurred line.  The homie Nev Schulman from MTV’s Catfish became our generations ambassador of ‘What not to do Online 101’. C'mon, let's be honest, for nearly all Catfish viewers (WHOOP WHOOP) we all learned something from Max and Nev! Max, we will miss you... Nevertheless, one thing is for sure, TV shows like Temptation Island highlight the societal mindset that the grass MUST be greener on the other side. Accept that’s often a fallacy.

A new norm is oddly developing and the ‘old school’ definition of “dating” faded away when the Internet became everyone’s 24/365 wingman. The term “dating “has been stretch to an entirely different level. Everyone seems to be seeking something right? Well, what happens when you take 10 mins to sit and reflect? Uninterrupted, unbiased, and uninfluenced. Are your thoughts the same? What do those thoughts look like? Far too many people are dissatisfied with the thought of being alone. Moreover, alone with their own vulnerabilities for some can be a scary and uncertain place. Therefore, without breaking out my Sociological terms and studies, let’s just say the rule of attraction is a thing, a real thing. For most people (not all) they seek out characteristics and traits in others that make them feel more comfortable in their own skin. By doing so, a person gives the power of their fulfillment to an external source. With that said, just remember your happiness begins and ends with YOU. Your choices, your thoughts, your reactions, your resistance. Do your future self a favor... get to know what you like, what your standards are, what is negotiable and more importantly what is not, and be unwavering in those convictions. Be flexible, sure, but don’t compromise your future by giving someone other than yourself the ability to determine your outcome. 

Take time every week to write, to engage, to blog, to reflect, to reset. We all need that in order to maintain a decent level of self-care. Focus less on the perceptions of others, and more on the rationality of your happiness. For people interested, google Cooley’s “Looking Glass Self” theory; super interesting!  Moral of the story: You can’t be the best to anyone if you only acknowledge the worst in yourself. Yeah I made it up.. steal away 😊

Blog Lesson of the Month: Looking-glass self is a theory created by Cooley that describes a process in which people allow the perception, judgments, and opinions of other people to mold and influence how they perceive themselves, their values, and their beliefs.

Make clear to those around you that you don’t need anyone person, thing, job, or title to define who you and what you deserve. Though life throws some pretty intense curve balls at times, don’t forget that for the tools you may lack in life, are there to be found… you just have to be unapologetic in your determination to find it. Recognize that most things worth having are worth working for and your self is the biggest investment you could make with the highest payoff. A clear mind is invaluable.  There is no one thing that has the power to complete you as a person. People can bring light to things we may or may not chose to entertain. Through self-reflection, constructive criticism, and genuine advice is great, never let anyone be responsible for making you feel whole, that is your job. Take those lessons you need throughout life and use those situational circumstances to rewrite your story. Remember YOU control your own happiness, success, and failures. When you give others the power to determine your outcome, the story becomes someone else’s instead of your own. 

Just remember your happiness begins and ends with YOU. Your choices, your thoughts, your reactions, your resistance. Do your future self a favor... get to know what you like, what your standards are, what is negotiable, and more importantly, what is not. Be flexible, sure, but don’t compromise your future by giving someone other than yourself the ability to steal your happiness. Take time every week to write, to blog, to reflect, to reset. We all need that in order to maintain self-care-

Remember: You can’t be the best to anyone if you only know the worst in yourself. Yeah, I made it up... steal away 😊

 Be a sponge & soak it all in

Look life is life… not always easy, but always worth it. As a fast-talking, sassy little lady, I learned early on the importance of keeping it real with yourself. I am the first to admit my own flaws before anyone else can or at least I try to anyways.  A good way to be totally unaffected right?  No, WRONG its called logic. Acknowledging your own flaws is a must in life when you are working on self-maintenance. You can’t willingly change something that you genuinely don’t see a concern in. Give yourselves the gifts of forgiveness and time. Acknowledge that its okay to screw up. It's okay to not have it all figured out and certainly do not look at all mistakes through the lens of regret; mistakes are how we learn what not to do.  No matter how many times you view someone’s life through social media, I'd assume that for at least 70% of people, just post their highlight reel for sure. Have reasonable expectations for yourself and give yourself the gifts of time and forgiveness. In doing so, it will help you move past the decisions of the past and forward with new ways of thinking. We aren’t perfect… and perfection should not be the goal for anyone, instead, focus on growth. Challenge yourself by asking these questions, 1. Have you questioned anything or anyone lately? 2. Do you think you see life the same as you did 10 years ago? Have you done anything to pay yourself back for the hard work you put in? 3. When is the last time you thought you were good enough? These questions will be perceived differently by all people, but without vocalizing, if you struggled to answer any of these questions, you are not doing enough for you and your own self-care. Soak in experiences and learn from trials and tribulations of others. Focus less on being the “what about me” person and think more “why not me”.  When you find yourself doubting your abilities, ask yourself "why" you feel it's not feasible. Pull your motivations from your uncertainty and doubt. By switching those two statements, your objectives and end goals often change. 

Challenge yourself to also re-frame how you view criticism. Some people view nearly any level of judgment as a personal attack. Though sometimes the intent is good, the delivery can be catastrophically disastrous. It is all in how it is given, the appropriateness of the environment, and the relationship you share with the people giving it. Judgment from a random grocery store cashier is a lot different from judgment from your best friend. When you feel the advice is unwarranted or straddling the line of an attack… ask clarifying questions. Don’t jump to conclusions before you must. Most decent people give you criticism as a manner of observation rather than a place of being a pompous ass. I have learned that naysayers are often instilling their own limitations on you. Just because something may not be logical for them, doesn't mean it can't be logical to you. Test the waters and realize shit may not work out, its life, be okay with that. But unless you try you will live a lifetime wondering “what if”. Remember, naysayers are the world’s best motivators! Life is tiring, facts…. But if you are going to be tired, you might as well be tired chasing your dreams not someone else’s. *** Words to live by***

Value moments over minutes

Starting at 16 yrs. old, by choice I always had a job. Intrigued by the financial burdens early on of a changing society, balancing high school and work … college and work… life and work… all that became the total norm. Evolving into a traditional nontraditional student,  I was a reflection of a first-generation learner and a rookie in the educational grind. Early morning and late nights were regular. APA formatting and midnight coffee runs were expected, Redbull became breakfast and weekends flew by. Still somehow managing to remain in the fun crowd, though my idea of fun diminished and was replaced with the more pressing task. For the better part of 15 years, work, school, work school, work school, was just normal.

Often missing out on fun trips or weekend getaways due to workforce guilt or school assignments, it wasn’t until I had a daughter that I remembered, in the end, memories are all we are lucky enough to have. When all the materialistic things fade, when assignments end and jobs change,  eventually when you are old and gray,  memories fuel your soul; they keep you going. Take time to celebrate success. Not just the big things, but the small ones too. Instead of focusing on overpriced birthday parties, instead of focusing on taking an adventure, going someone fun, doing something outside of the norm. Take pictures, take videos, make scrapbooks. Revert back to capture the memories before they were backed on in an Icloud somewhere.  Those moments will live in your memory forever, After all, life’s most lasting treasure is memories. Work hinders a ton of the desire to follow through with meaningful moves. Vacation times, work deadlines, short staff, excessive workloads, all super important, true… BUT remember all that will still be there when you return. Though sick days with kids, random colds and life’s most insane circumstances often are responsible for depleting our hard-earned vacation hours, TRY to take some time of vacation “and I use that term loosely”,  every year. Along with a reset needs to be peace, time to think, time to reflect, and time to plan. The hugest lesson I learned this year is that if your environment drains you and the people around you do not motivate you, that environment isn’t for you. Leave room in your life to learn. Never assume that you have it all figured out because let's be honest you don’t… I don’t…. no one does! But news flash you aren’t expected to. Do what works for you and don’t feel guilty for not living up to someone else’s standard. You are the one to set your own threshold of happiness and self-acceptance.

Embracing the power of womanhood one gift at a time

I am a woman. Unapologetic for my nature, for my grit, for my drive, for my talents or for my goals.  I can make a human. I can smile and bat my lashes and get things for free.  I can have hormonal rants that are justified once a month.

I can be an executive in a male dominated world. I can be a business owner, not just employed. I can demolish junk food on a Tuesday and be a Vegan by Saturday night. I can spend $100 at Bath and Body works just to use a coupon that is about to expire.

I can cuss you out today, but still adore you tomorrow. I can balance a toddler on one hip and the weight of the world on the other. I can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while looking up Pinterest projects for my child’s school.

I can stand firm against social injustices and speak out about my truth, I have a voice. I don’t have to choose between work and family, I can do both. I can change a tire and never break a nail.  I can sip a glass of cheap CVS wine and start this process all over again.

Call me what you will, but just call me a fucking superhero first. I am a superhero that wears stilettos instead of capes and moves with an Acura instead of a pair of magical wings; I am just as fearless as I am free.

I will stand toe-to-toe against the toughest challenges yet still cry vulnerably with the saddest souls.  I am a woman. Love me, believe me, believe in me and inspire me! Always celebrate the day of the woman and educate others from your trials and tribulations. We are united. We are girls J

Woes, Wins, and Weddings- A non bridezilla Must Read!

I am BACK ladies and gents and man how I have missed my blog. In the last 6 months or so a TON has happened and ill be sharing my views on a wide variety of issues in coming blogs. Disclaimer: I live in America. Each day here is a new episode of foolery and fuckery so for bloggers like myself, it makes for a ton of juicy material. But HEY, one blog at a time. We will get to all recent foolishness later, but for now, let’s talk about weddings!  

So late last year I launched my blog Everyday Girl Spin & things went great! Better than great, actually it was phenomenal. However, after the excitement of spreading news of my engagement wore off, it was actually time to plan. So okay, maybe people were right.  Launching a blog in the middle of wedding planning and on top of  Graduate school may not have been the best idea. My time was limited L before I knew it I was knee-deep in wedding planning and just like that, POOF… I disappeared, abandoned my blog and embarked on an entirely different level of craziness. NOW I am back (YAYYY, as I hit whatever hip dance the kids are doing this week lol) and I am ready to dish!

So weddings.  What does that make you think of? A beautiful dress? That shit is expensive. Memorable food, yep that shit is far TOO expensive, great pictures and great drinks, be prepared to fork out that money because unless you plan on sipping apple juice YEP that process is fucking expensive too! I knew the process would be time-consuming but what I did not know is how many freaking gray hairs I would accrue in the process.  Though the outcome was ABSOLUTELY more astonishing and visually stimulating than I EVER could have imagined (insert pat on the back J), the process of getting there, yeahhhhhhh… nothing could have prepared me for all of that. If you are looking for the process to be fun and if you are defining “fun” as amusing, entertaining, or enjoyable, then yeah, “fun” may not be the exact word I choose to describe it.  The real “fun” comes when you are boarding the plane to your Caribbean honeymoon taking silly Snapchat videos on the plane.  Caterers, liquor licenses, dessert tables and flaky RSVP’s are sure to drive you insane, but stage by stage, invitation by invitation,  phone call by phone call, I sucked it up and got to work.  When you start the wedding planning process, it is all cute and you find just about any reason for that perfect “bride-to-be” kind of selfie …. THEN, the date is set, the countdown begins, and similar to pregnancy, the last stretch is the craziest!  Throughout this process, I have compiled a list of 10 things every reasonable non-bridezilla, the bride-to-be should know and be cool with moving into the grand finale. I do not want to exhaust my readers so for this blog I will share my first five! Be mindful, my experiences are totally my own. I cannot tell you what works for YOU and your pockets but I can share some useful tips that I wish someone would have tossed my way; anything I can do to help!  

1.       Do not strive for perfection instead strive for LOGICAL!  Trust me I get it. As a girl that was engaged for a year and a half, I have looked at more websites than I can imagine, filled out more “get free shit” questioners that I wanted, scrolled Pinterest more than any reasonable person should and forced me to watch a cringe-worthy episode of “Four Weddings” on TLC. Note: ANYTHING on the TLC network during this planning stage will either make you entertain some fancy barn transformation wedding or just simply drive you insane! There comes a time when you just need to ‘X’ out of Etsy, log off amazon prime and set the grocery store magazines dowwwwwwwn. Their weddings don’t have to be your wedding! Do what makes sense to YOUR own budget. Keep in mind that all the glitz and glam is great, but it certainly comes with a price tag attached. If you are hosting a wedding to please everyone else, you are doomed…. Do what feels right to you and your significant other without going into debt or picking up another job to pay for it all. Remember it is YOUR wedding, there is no handbook, and traditions can be broken. Find a way to enjoy it. Satisfy your own needs- what everyone else wants really does not matter. After all, it will all be a blur afterward but hey no one ever tells you that part, right. J

2.       Realize there will be things that just do not matter…. At least to no one except the Bride, she is always the X factor. I racked my brain with napkin colors, table décor, aisle runners, programs, menu, and table favors. All the things that my husband just nodded at and agreed but really could care less about. Not to generalize all men, but most people aside from the bride and maybe the mother of the bride cares very little about whether or not the flower petals line the aisle runner correctly or whether or not the table linen is ivory or blue. In hindsight, it totally won't matter when it’s over. Give people air conditioning, something to snack on, something to drink, and a good tune to dance to and all is good; everything else is extra! 

3.       People do not read invitations, do not save the ‘save the dates’, and could care less about wedding websites. All of this I learned the hard way. Since my husband and I have been together for SUCH a long time, 7 years to be exact (whoop whoop), a traditional registry seemed unrealistic, a waste of our friend/family’s money, and a quick way to flood our homes with even more things we don’t need or won't use. Ungrateful? Never, but back to that whole logically thing, yes this is the time where logic has to supersede tradition. Sure it is fun to run through a store and scan a ton of shit to a registry, but then what? When the wedding is over, will you look back at that $55.00 toaster from Bed Bath and Beyond and think, “Geez, this was the best”, probably not. Instead, since a wedding is one of those rare times that it is socially acceptable to ask for things, make it worth it. We opted for one of these new and super smart registries called a honeymoon fund. There are a lot of online honeymoon registries and the one I went with even allowed me to create a FREE wedding website.

I worked hard, like super hard on our website. I downloaded snappy stories, uploaded old pictures, and added a full play by play regarding all the wedding details, but guess what, I STILL got the same questions over and over again. “When is the wedding? Where is the wedding? Where are you registered? OMG, I wanted to yell "it is on the damn site people, check the site!" UGH. I said all of that to say, the things that mean the most to you for wedding planning, likely means the least to anyone else LOL. True, true, true. Instead, opt for what we know best, online! Printing all these things are NOT cheap and postage? Do NOT get me started? Instead, create an online community that people can check through social media sites. Easier to manage, response times are in real-time, and more importantly, if it is on social media, let’s be honest, most people are addicted to their phones, so at least you know it likely won't be ignored! Consider your guest populations and try to do things that are easy for you to create and them to navigate.  Some of the honeymoon sites also allow electronically RSVP’s as well. The site is a fun and easy way to get people to donate to different fun events you and your spouse can enjoy on your honeymoon. You can transfer the money directly to your account and though it takes a few days to hit, it is worth it when it does. We used it in the Bahamas and MANNN did it come in useful! MUCH more useful than a toaster LOL.

4.       Recognize that people are flaky and RSVPs are asinine.  I must not lie. Before planning my own wedding, as awful as this sounds, I never RSVP’d for nearly anything. Let’s just say that karma SUCKS and now I totally get its importance. Lesson learned. I will always RSVP going forward. It is borderline disrespectful not to.  When planning a wedding what you pay literally depends on the number of people. The HUGEST cost was by far the food catering. For this reason, knowing exactly how many people you need to feed is significant and extremely important. As if wedding planning is not enough, the bride and groom do not have time, nor should they have time to track down people. Not via text, not via Facebook, nowhere. If you sent the save-the-dates and sent the formal invites, your job is D-O-N-E. Here is a funny little fact: My husband and I invited 100 guest, 32 RSVP’d on the wedding site, yet 120 people showed up the day of.  Can you imagine the frustration of having to pay even MORE money because people just woke up and decided to show to your wedding? See, headcount matters dude! Also, keep in mind that just because people will tell you they are coming, they still might not- that is where the flakiness comes in. Things come up, kids get sick, people lie, and sometimes it is as simple as people change their minds.  Don't take it personally. Sometimes free food and drinks are not enough. It's fine, just roll with it J

5.       Decide rather or not a wedding a coordinator is even needed and make sure you have a plan for the entire extra’ everything that you are sure to have.

When I started this process, I laughed at the idea of paying someone to make my vision come alive. I mean, as a person that has planned more events than I can count, why in the world would I pay someone to do it, right? NO. WRONG, DEAD WRONG. This type of planning is not, I repeat NOT for everyone. If you have a hard time staying organized, feel uneasy negotiating things, or have very little time to research… do yourself a favor and get a Wedding Planner, you will need it. HOWEVER, if not, suck it up, grind it out, and do it yourself! It takes A LOT of time and it puts you under tremendous pressure, but if you handle pressure well and have reliable (keyword being reliable) people in your corner, Try it! I worked on my table décor until 10 minutes before my makeup was scheduled to be completed and was still getting balloons blown up while my bridesmaid arrived… delegate, trust you won't regret it!  In doing so you will likely sacrifice the easy-breezy, ‘pamper me’ moments at the beginning of the day, but hear me when I say, there is NO better feeling than looking around and knowing that you slayed that shit without a coordinator. Sometimes self-accomplished is the best prize. It is quite the ego boost for the big day, I highly recommend! Not only did I save money not hiring a coordinator but more importantly, I maintained a level of sanity throughout all this without relaying what I wanted to a third party J  Time flies on the big day so don’t be afraid to lean on your helpers to get things moving along. It’s your wedding, make time to enjoy it! 

I will leave you with this:  if something goes wrong, OH WELL! No one will know but YOU. On the big day, if things don't go exactly as planned, it is fine, you won't be any less married! Lean on friends, remember to laugh about the silly things, have a flask hidden at your table lol and reap the benefits of your hard work. Overall when its all said and done, the wedding will be one big freakin’ blur anyways. Don’t overthink it, don’t underestimate it, and don’t think the impossible can’t happen because it can. Just focus on the memories and the moments and then do like me and write blogs to help other brides. Hey, it takes a village, right? Hang in their sisters, it will all be good in the end… and if not, oh well you still married the love of your life, you are still out a shit ton of money, and Facebook memories will forever remind us about this special time forever. It all works out in the end.  

... Until Next Time Guys