Back on a wintery
Christmas Eve in 2016, I got engaged! 7 years and a 4-year-old child later, the
day had finally come. Completely enthralled at the moment and high on the excitement
of being a soon to be bride, everything changed at that moment. Hell, I picked
up a part-time job as a wedding planner and did not even realize the insane amount
of work that came with the title of being engaged. Hindsight is certainly
20/20. After I said YES, I literally
cried my eyes out like someone took the last pair of Yeezy’s off the shelf
right in front of my very eyes, it was official, and a wedding was certainly
going down. Personally, I am of fan of lengthier engagements because why rush
it. We have been together for YEARS so
we have plenty of time to cross our T’s and dot our I’s right? Ladies just because you have the bling doesn’t
mean you have to get married the week after, take your time. I thought to myself
“c’mon, wedding planning cant be that damn difficult right.” I have watched
enough TV and planned enough events to get how this whole thing was supposed to
work- or so I thought. HOWEVER, as life has a funny way of doing, I have been proven
WRONG, oh so WRONG!
Almost immediately, I
hopped into action. Without some Pinterest checklist or unhelpful Facebook
comments, I sat the ball in motion on my own and MY WORD, that ball has not quit
rolling yet! Wedding planning is kind of like dodge ball. Weird analogy right? While
you are busy eyeballing the big kid with all the force to throw the ball WAY too
hard, it is REALLY the other little piss ants that ultimately take you out the
game LOL- for me, CATERING COST was those little piss ants. Main dishes, side
dishes, and dessert bars are overtaking my world. I have nightmares about napkin
colors and aisle runners. Well okay not really, but the shit is insane
nonetheless. Did the dramatic appeal work? J 
Again, I digress. Within
about a month or two, the wedding party was picked out (totally not a hard decision
to make on either side because both he and I have had the same squads our
entire lives), the date was set, and the rough draft, (like the roughest of
rough drafts) of the guest list was created. THIS is where it got tricky. NO
ONE explained to me that in order to have enough money to feed your wedding
guest, you need to start saving that money around 12 or 13 years old LOL. Maybe
I should have asked for catering money for my high school graduation gift 15
years ago hahaha. Just to put this in respective here is a few things I could
have done with that money
1. Put a down payment on a home
2. Buy a whole OTHER used car
3. Shave off money on student loans
4. Put it in SAVINGS
5. Donate It
6. OR buy 2,700+ Twinkies (it is legit do the math)
…any of that! But instead
it is selfishly going toward green beans and cake - who knew memory could be so damn expensive? There are plenty of fun ways to get around it, but if you plan on serving a 'meal' verses snacks,
be prepared to pay up sisters! ** Word of advice: if I could redo the food, I
would seriously do heavier appetizers instead of more formal food ** One
catering service for two types of meat, two sides, and salad wanted nearly $5000.00
WHATTTTT? I hope your mouth dropped like mine did. Even crazier, they had the
nerve to say that it does not include silverware or napkins GEEZ LOUISE right.
Never. No way. Nada. Nope. I mean really this isn’t just me being bougie
with filet mignon, or lobster, we're talking basic ass chicken and tenderloin (I
wanted to jump off a bridge). I have convinced myself that the coordinator was drunk
sending me quotes like that for 120 people. Do you understand that if I would
have been a naïve bride and settled for a $5000.00 meal…? I would have hired someone to go table to
table making sure every single morsel on EVERYONE's plate was clean, like
SUPER damn clean LOL No leftovers, no extra food on the plate (not even a
bite), dammit for that much money, everyone was going to eat until they puked!!
But guess what; I am much started then
that, so we went through an actual steak house, better food, and less money. WIN
WIN right! So future brides DO YOUR RESEARCH! They will try to entice you with
flowering language and good foreshadowing for your special day but remember,
you are not the Beyoncé and Jay-Z, you are not Meghan and Prince Harry. You are
not expected to keep up with anyone’s style or preferences but your own J
Facts are 90% of your wedding guests will remember the experience over the food.
Call around to everywhere-even places you think do not cater. You will be
shocked to see some of the deals that restaurants and private catering companies
or even privately owned restaurants can offer up. Finding caters can be an extensive
process, so be prepared to google until your fingers fall off, ask a ton of
questions, and be prepared to negotiate. Do not let them lead the process.
Remember you are hiring THEM they aren’t hiring YOU.
The food cost definitely
had an impact on whom we could invite and how many people. Before I was engaged,
I had only been to a handful of weddings and didn’t have a huge point of
reference. As a 32-year-old modern-day woman, I am learning that too many
people nowadays set out on the whole wedding ordeal. I get it. Either 1) They
wait to get married much later (a smart move I think) or 2. Opt for the courthouse
option. No shade but the courthouse wasn’t an option for me. I wanted the experience.
Didn’t have to be a wedding you see on TLC or something of the Kardashians (because
like Rhi Rhi said “I get it how live, I live how I get it”) BUT I wanted this experience
to be special for everyone involved- that was important to me. Surprisingly, being
a bridezilla has not been a part of my journey, let us just hope I continue being
a cool, calm, and collected bride (likely not, but cheers to wishful thinking
lol) 6 months to go. Regardless if
everyone has to eat Lunchables with Capri-son drinks and Subway cookies, this
wedding is happening dammitJ
Having a very little
point of reference for how this entire process is supposed to work, I was
flying by the seat of my pants. Unaware, uninformed, and unready for the insane
factors that go into wedding planning I put on my adult pants and went to work
networking, making calls, reading those annoying yet informative wedding magazines
and then I discovered the AWESOMENESS of all that is Etsy! In my view, Etsy is
for people that fail at Pinterest too much hahaha. They give up and pay someone
else to do it. Call me a quitter, but hey, all is fair in the internet and weddings!
BRIDES do not create more stress than you truly have to. I am 6 months away
with a TON of stuff to still do, so hopefully I can take my own advice- we
shall see. Seriously check out Etsy it will probably blow your mind! Wedding décor,
floral arrangements, adorable save the dates and even bridesmaid dresses, all
one click away! THEY are the true MVP in this process. Until next time….
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