Selfies, selfies, and more damn selfies right?
We are all guilty. Nowadays almost at every turn, someone is extending
their arms or conspiring in a mirror to get the perfect pose. Often oblivious
to our surroundings, whether it be in a dressing room at a mall, a wedding, a
nightclub, in the middle of work, at the gym- it goes down. Now older generations
view this social phenomenon as this awkward and narcissistic evolution of the
whacky oversharing world we live in. Despite popular belief, that is certainly
not always the case and a lot of the times millennials unfairly catch a lot of opposition
for being self-absorbed and carefree. Do not judge us for moving with technology-,
Selfies are just a thing that works (sometimes) and as our generation does so
well, we roll with the changes. To those against the selfie game, snuggle your
Polaroid, Nokia flip phone and typewriters close, because the millennial train
is coming through baby, watch out! To
lump us all in as the generation that is so “full of ourselves” is unfair, to say
the least. With social media sites like
Snapchat and Instagram, it enhances the fun (is that so bad?) I mean c’mon. Have you ever showed a person
over the age of 60 a Snapchat filter? They cannot help but laugh. It is pretty damn entertaining.
Now yes, we all know ‘those people’- the
exception not the norm. The ones you
have to question whether they hold a job because no one person could EVER post
the number of selfies they do in one given day. ON THE OTHER HAND, the people
that clearly post selfies after selfie for the “look at me I’m the shit” reaction,
yeah those people make me gag. Just read their comments. Riddled with so much thirst
Sprite could not quench it, yep those people are the worst, agreed. Just scroll
on past. NO double-tap, NO like, NO Retweet. They just want attention. I will
pass on those thirst traps!
However, for the better part of our generation, we just think its fun- nothing more, nothing less, no statistical information needed there. Recently I read an article by Maria Mercedes Galuppo that showed millennials are expected to take well over 25,000 selfies in their lifetime. WOW, that is an unrealistic amount of pics, right? WRONG- pretty spot on I am sure. Based upon her statistics, 55% of social media selfies are taken by us millennials (born 1981-1997), 24% by Generation X (born early 60’s to late ’70s) and 9% of those precious baby boomers (approximately age 51-69)! Insane right? Clearly, millennials are leading the charge to selfie land.
Does anyone even know how this randomly articulated
word ‘selfie’ even originated? Created somewhere around the early 2000s, something
tells me that one of those annoying Kardashians probably had something to do
with this. Very likely I’m sure. They have something to do with EVERYTHING
(ugh). As a social phenomenon that shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon,
at the end of the day, we just have to get used to it. Not to be misconstrued for narcissism, low
self-esteem, or any other hater-filled explanation. Truth be told, instead of
looking so far into WHY we take them, just put on your rouge, make a high
ponytail and get to work on your own! So as a self-proclaimed selfie guru below
are three things that annoy the shit out of me with selfies (even my own). Do
you share the same thoughts? Let us see:
Posting
pictures in streaky mirrors! - Let me not act brand new. For the sake of transparency, I have TOTALLY
been this girl before. Certainly not on purpose, but sometimes when you feel a
good pic brewing and similar to a good hunchin’ (for people not in the South… hunting means sex), sometimes
the location doesn’t matter, it’s just gotta happen J
Unfortunately, I have adopted a very bad habit along the way, I get to make up
smudges EVERYWHERE. It’s seriously to the point that I may or may not be
considering wearing gardening gloves the makeup smudges are REAL in my household and I am pretty sure my man borderline
despises me for it J
But I can't be alone. I see the memes; it could
be a universal woman characteristic OR I am just incredibly reckless with foundation.
Nonetheless, between makeup and hair products I have a habit of leaving a trail
behind me. Sometimes you don’t notice the toothpaste in the sink or the two-finger smudges on the mirror- dammit, somethings are uncroppable (is that even
a word) LOL. Cleaning is so therapeutic to me but I’m short and my arms are
shorter so all that reaching up is tiresome. I’m just a lazy Windex’er. In the
instance that a dope selfie was taken but the background shenanigans are all wrong and probably not ideal, I
bounce back and forth through the same thought process each time: “ Those 3
streaks at the top of my mirror aren’t really that bad, right? “ “Think I can play it off
with a good filter?” Eh- probably not. Fuck it. DELETE. RIP to all my mirror
pic selfies that could have made Snapchat magic L
Ducks Lips-
again, I have been guilty of this a time or two- nothing in heavy rotation on
my IG or anything, but I’m guilty nonetheless. Every time I feel my lips even halfway
puckering, I contemplate punching myself in the face, but hey… when the
feelings right you go for it I guess LOL. But seriously let’s talk girls, not every lady has the lips for duck lips. Can
we agree? Some I seen looked like
whatever I envision a bamboo ass to look like- not that cute, but still, if the
mood is right we’ll snap all night! No shade, just saying, duck lips just may
not be your forte. Would it be asking too much to leave the duck lip selfies to
those that have lips delicate and dainty… not cracked and callused LOL -Run the
pic by a friend before posting- see what she says? If sis tells ya stick with
standard selfie unpuckered- HELL just believe it. She is trying to keep you from
looking like a bamboo ass.
Pictures looking at the damn ground- WHY. Just why. Are you getting inspired by
too much Tyra on Americas Next Top Model? Did you see one of those damn
Kardashians pull it off and think this may be a cool thing to do? Well sis, let
me be the first to say it is kinda weird. I mean okay, all is fair in love and hot pics BUT this “I'm
getting my picture taken but I am NOT looking at the camera, but I'm grinning
like I want to look, yet wait… there’s a rollie pollie on the ground, I’ll focus there and hope this pic turns out well" style of the picture is a
little extra, even for me. Quit. It is totally still social media acceptable to look
AT the camera LOL (millennials I can't back this one, sorry) 99% of the time it will NOT turn out all "high fashion" like you hoped for. At best you risk looking distracted and like you are trying WAY too hard- just smile and show us those pearly whites!
Whelp that is my morning rant on
selfies, until next time…
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