The Dreaded Drive through, they win everytime

Have you ever just have a bad fucking day? YES, a curse word was necessary. Based upon how my day has been, not only was it necessary but highly appropriate.

In all fairness, the day started well and ended well, but the mess in between (similar to the weird Little Debbie cake filling) were all wrong for my moral compass. You know it has been a stressful day when you come home barking off pretty stupid orders for relatively no apparent reason- someone needed to tell me to simmer down. Rationality where are you?  Who am I Sargent Slaughter? LOL ** six extra points if you know who that is*** in hindsight it was both funny yet unfair. 

After a long day dealing with irrational people, silly ideas, and boring stories, I was short of kicking my door off the hinges after I drove my car into the garage. Barely over the grueling and formidable day, my emotions were at an all-time high and I was rarely over the hellacious day that work presented- it just was not my day. 

 As soon as I get in the door, I give the room a ‘don’t mess with mommy today’ kind of look. Completely prepared for all three (daughter, doggie, and fiancé) to overlook my annoyed glare, I felt the “I need’s” coming anytime now; that train is never late. In order to beat them to the punch, my irrationalness and pettiness began to show LOL.  I gathered the family and this is when my logic gets silly.  As I pointed my finger, rolled my neck and put my hands on my hips a lot, I continued in my destruction. I got upset with my dog for barking at the same mail carrier he has barked at for the last 3 years. I told my four going on 14-year-old daughter to clean her room that in all fairness was not even that damn messy and got mad at my fiancé for not answering some random question quick enough – so the devil overtook my body for like 20 whole minutes. LOL- my word right!  Do I sound a little crazy? Or is this what most people simply call Monday? 

Fast forward, we end up at the grocery store. Now some people would dread his and it could add fuel to the fire, but NOPE not me; I love it. It is actually kind of therapeutic .A good trip through the discounted steak tips, always makes a girl’s day brighter right? :)  After a rather long grocery store trip, I make the MISTAKE of going to McDonalds. A place where their unsweet tea ALMOST had me step so far out of character. Something that was petty and dumb, now was war.

Now in all transparency it is February 27^th and in the dead of winter its 64 degrees so EVERYONE was clearly in their feelings today. Out, buzzing in and out of traffic, I decide to drive the family to the home of the pink gooey stuff I saw on YouTube and holiday pies, McDonalds. Typically not a go to type of spot, but for the sake of quickness and stress eating, why not right? When life throws you a curve ball… eat McDonalds … (bet you will never find that quote on Pinterest eh?)

Nonetheless, we get in the line. The drive through line. Me? I am still mentally huffing and puffing, but I set my bitterness aside and began to order. **Disclaimer, to any moms that have been in the position I am about to talk about, HA- may the force be with you my friends*** Right about the time I begin ordering, my toddler starts yelling insanely in the background. Traditionally a very well behaved and even-tempered child today was not her day either- both of us was apparently suffering from the same mood. Not yelling for any particular reason and not yet to the point of falling out with crocodile tears, clearly, she just wanted it, and by ‘it’, I mean EVERYTHING! She literally yelled out any food she could possibly think of in that moment. Granted we are at Mickie D’s, my child decides to show her fast food repertoire by rattling off any and every food that came to mind. As I try to maintain a level of “please hush your mouth” while attempting to over talk the insanity going on in the back seat, for half a second, I secretly hoped the lady taking the order wasn't judging me and talking shit on mute LOL .All I hear is, “MOMMY,  can I have a Hamburger?” “Green beans?” “Ranch” “Cookies” “Num NOMS” “Shopkins”. WOW. Toys. Food. Literally all that. Mommy 911. HELP.

Straight from the mommy playbook, i began waving my hands and trying to hush my child, while starring at her sternly and daring her to say another loud, obnoxious word, all in ONE mom look. Some moms never master it, but ALL moms possess the special talent to do so LOL. Still trying to maintain a level of normality in the drive through, in its totality, finally she simmered down.

IMMEDIATELY  greeted with a sigh and an eye roll I could feel through the speaker.- the tone for the next 5-10 mins has officially been sat.  UGH. Does she have a stank attitude? Did my child drive her insane too? UGH, is she going to spit in my food? Dammit, now I am dealing with “that girl”- the one we all dread in a drive through.  Through her heavy lip smacking and unimpressed tone, I could tell she hated her job- at least that day she did. No matter WHAT, she was determined to make that known to any and every person unfortunate enough to come through her line… yeah that girl. I am sure my screaming child did not help; I can empathize.

Anxious to get to the window so I could look her angry, bitter ass in the face, she is EVERYTHING I thought she would be, even gave me a neck roll and looked up in the air long enough for me to constitute it as an eye roll. WHHHHAT!? Is she serious? Ohhh yes she was. Now I am beefing with this angry teen! Hell maybe she failed a Statistics test or some shit but TODAY I had time for it LOL.

I get to the next window and for the first time in this McDonalds chronicles part 56,768, I crack a grin. Above all else, its almost sweet tea time because HELLO, let’s be real- it is the greatest! Regardless of how shitty this drive through was, it’ll all be worthwhile after one sip. I peel back that straw paper, give me lips an anxious lick, JUST to find out… its fucking UNSWEET TEAAAAA. Ugh. I can’t be alone in this, getting Unsweet when you’re expecting sweet is never okay- it’s un-American dammit LOL. C’mon, they could not just let me have that huh? Entire day officially a bust. McDonalds you had one job, ONE! Per usual you failed me. Moral of the story, take a sip before leaving the drive through because if not, it will take you from 5-500 on the pissed off-o-meter! Trust me people, the struggle was real today.

Until next time….

There is No Fraud in Friendship.

What does it mean to have a friend? Or better yet what does it mean to actually be one. Is it calling every day to check-in? Sending a few random “how are you” updates throughout the year or simply holding the shared bonds and lived experiences together close enough to remain interconnected forever? Believe it or not, much like everything else the guidelines are often null and void. Friendship should have no timeline, no expiration date, and no squeaky-clean road to get there. Though we wish it were possible, not everyone shares in the Zack and AC Slater relationship from Saved by The Bell- sometimes it just isn’t that pretty.  It can be exhausting, it can be tough, it requires work to maintain, and the end result may or may not constitute the means. However, when it’s real, you are willing to go that extra mile. The older we get, it’s not about seeing our friends every day, knowing every weekend plan, or spending an inordinate amount of hours on the phone giggling like you did in adolescence- but OH how I miss those days, don’t we all. Similar to a fine wine or even a jar of good kimchi, the better preserved it is, the more enjoyable it becomes.

Likely one of the most overused and unvalued terms in the English language, the word ‘friendship’ has become rather lackluster in our generation. Am I the only person taught rather young, not everyone is going to be your friend? And when did that become a bad thing to teach? Clearly, somewhere along the lines, the term ‘acquaintance’ warped into something with a negative stink on it and something to be avoided like a slick talker at a mall kiosk. Why do people give a side-eye to facts? Often deemed socially uncomfortable, potentially demeaning or even cold, people seemingly care more about how the word ‘acquaintance’ sounds and the social connotation it carries, rather than accepting it for what it is.

By definition, an acquaintance is “a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly a close friend; a casual acquaintance.” Is that NOT 90% of the people you interact with on a daily basis? For me, friendship is the exception, not the norm. It is totally fine and even healthy to know how to draw lines of distinction. We don’t have to feel uneasy about stating facts. We are grown, right? We can remove the awkwardly forced veil of fakery created to mask the uncertainty of people’s roles in our lives. People break up with their “friends” every day- Diamonds are forever, but sometimes friendships just aren’t- It happens.

As the mother of a toddler, I see that in schools (even at the youngest of ages) all kids are indoctrinated to think every playmate is a ‘friend’ so this process of lumping everyone in as the ‘good guys” starts pretty early on. Nowadays with the creation of an online relationship, we now live in a world where anyone can hold that label and with a click of a button, these acquaintances now feel completely enthralled and entitled to your life. Sounds a bit overthought I’m sure, but when you bring someone into your social media world, they now have access to may’ of the things you hold most near and dear. Have these acquaintances really earned that right? Maybe. Maybe not.   Friendship is not adding that annoying coworker just because they cannot quit egging on the issue. Friendship isn’t “liking” a few statuses out of boredom. People give too much credit to online relationships. You share nothing but the images you upload and the illusion of the person you create on the screen. Likely, these people find you somewhat entertaining, to say the least, but be mindful, unless you work as a court jester; entertainment does not necessarily constitute being liked. Being a fan and being a friend are two different concepts not to be confused as one and the same. Often fans do not push back, but friends always will.  

As a woman blessed tremendously with such an amazing inner circle of strong and capable women, oftentimes I find myself evaluating the relationships of those around me. Similarly to the words love, success, and happiness, friendship is a word that is not easy to define, but easy to recognize. It is a feeling that should be forever unquestioned yet embraced whole heartily and unapologetically. To say that having an expectation of your friends is a bad thing is not only a false narrative but also rather also unreasonable perspective. The key thing to expect is safety. To feel safe in your thoughts, your actions, your dreams, your insecurities, and your fears.

Expectations are a good thing and when you find a person that can equally reciprocate your willingness to be vulnerable and unapologetically yourself, your true self… you win every time.

The most telling characteristic of friendship is not anticipating nor expecting them to live by the same moral code as you. Just because your friends are your friends, you cannot set forth an unreasonable expectation that they will do the same for you, as you will for them; you can only hope. Though there is certainly a psychological component and correlation to friendship and overall wellbeing… I’ll save that for another blog J

Amongst loyalty and comfort lie accountability, without it, nothing meaningful can grow. I don’t know about you all, but a friend that only spews the rhetoric I pander in my own head is not a friend I need. Instead, they act more as an appeaser. You want someone with common goals and a similar destiny but the road taken to get there, completely different. If you only seek out people that look like you, act like you, and think like you, where do you have room to grow?

Many of my friendships began with awkward conversations at a middle school lunch table, or kid talk over tea parties. Never questioning my role or my feelings, as a child, you take comfort in support and laughter. As we mature, those conversations evolve into career advancement, relationships and children, yet the premise never change;  support and laughter still remain the foundation of anything relatively meaningful.  I will end with this,  Ray Waldo Emerson once said, “To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether, by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Until next time...

Selfies and Satire. Give millennials a damn break!

Selfies, selfies, and more damn selfies right? We are all guilty. Nowadays almost at every turn, someone is extending their arms or conspiring in a mirror to get the perfect pose. Often oblivious to our surroundings, whether it be in a dressing room at a mall, a wedding, a nightclub, in the middle of work, at the gym- it goes down. Now older generations view this social phenomenon as this awkward and narcissistic evolution of the whacky oversharing world we live in. Despite popular belief, that is certainly not always the case and a lot of the times millennials unfairly catch a lot of opposition for being self-absorbed and carefree. Do not judge us for moving with technology-, Selfies are just a thing that works (sometimes) and as our generation does so well, we roll with the changes. To those against the selfie game, snuggle your Polaroid, Nokia flip phone and typewriters close, because the millennial train is coming through baby, watch out!  To lump us all in as the generation that is so “full of ourselves” is unfair, to say the least.  With social media sites like Snapchat and Instagram, it enhances the fun (is that so bad?)  I mean c’mon. Have you ever showed a person over the age of 60 a Snapchat filter? They cannot help but laugh.  It is pretty damn entertaining.

Now yes, we all know ‘those people’- the exception not the norm.  The ones you have to question whether they hold a job because no one person could EVER post the number of selfies they do in one given day. ON THE OTHER HAND, the people that clearly post selfies after selfie for the “look at me I’m the shit” reaction, yeah those people make me gag. Just read their comments. Riddled with so much thirst Sprite could not quench it, yep those people are the worst, agreed. Just scroll on past. NO double-tap, NO like, NO Retweet. They just want attention. I will pass on those thirst traps!

However, for the better part of our generation, we just think its fun- nothing more, nothing less, no statistical information needed there. Recently I read an article by Maria Mercedes Galuppo that showed millennials are expected to take well over 25,000 selfies in their lifetime. WOW, that is an unrealistic amount of pics, right? WRONG- pretty spot on I am sure. Based upon her statistics, 55% of social media selfies are taken by us millennials (born 1981-1997), 24% by Generation X (born early 60’s to late ’70s) and 9% of those precious baby boomers (approximately age 51-69)! Insane right? Clearly, millennials are leading the charge to selfie land.

Does anyone even know how this randomly articulated word ‘selfie’ even originated? Created somewhere around the early 2000s, something tells me that one of those annoying Kardashians probably had something to do with this. Very likely I’m sure. They have something to do with EVERYTHING (ugh). As a social phenomenon that shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon, at the end of the day, we just have to get used to it.  Not to be misconstrued for narcissism, low self-esteem, or any other hater-filled explanation. Truth be told, instead of looking so far into WHY we take them, just put on your rouge, make a high ponytail and get to work on your own! So as a self-proclaimed selfie guru below are three things that annoy the shit out of me with selfies (even my own). Do you share the same thoughts? Let us see:

Posting pictures in streaky mirrors! -  Let me not act brand new.  For the sake of transparency, I have TOTALLY been this girl before. Certainly not on purpose, but sometimes when you feel a good pic brewing and similar to a good hunchin’ (for people not in the South… hunting means sex), sometimes the location doesn’t matter, it’s just gotta happen J Unfortunately, I have adopted a very bad habit along the way, I get to make up smudges EVERYWHERE. It’s seriously to the point that I may or may not be considering wearing gardening gloves the makeup smudges are REAL in my household and I am pretty sure my man borderline despises me for it J But I can't be alone. I see the memes; it could be a universal woman characteristic OR I am just incredibly reckless with foundation. Nonetheless, between makeup and hair products I have a habit of leaving a trail behind me. Sometimes you don’t notice the toothpaste in the sink or the two-finger smudges on the mirror- dammit, somethings are uncroppable (is that even a word) LOL. Cleaning is so therapeutic to me but I’m short and my arms are shorter so all that reaching up is tiresome. I’m just a lazy Windex’er. In the instance that a dope selfie was taken but the background shenanigans are all wrong and probably not ideal, I bounce back and forth through the same thought process each time: “ Those 3 streaks at the top of my mirror aren’t really that bad, right? “ “Think I can play it off with a good filter?” Eh- probably not. Fuck it. DELETE. RIP to all my mirror pic selfies that could have made Snapchat magic L

Ducks Lips- again, I have been guilty of this a time or two- nothing in heavy rotation on my IG or anything, but I’m guilty nonetheless.  Every time I feel my lips even halfway puckering, I contemplate punching myself in the face, but hey… when the feelings right you go for it I guess LOL. But seriously let’s talk girls, not every lady has the lips for duck lips. Can we agree?  Some I seen looked like whatever I envision a bamboo ass to look like- not that cute, but still, if the mood is right we’ll snap all night! No shade, just saying, duck lips just may not be your forte. Would it be asking too much to leave the duck lip selfies to those that have lips delicate and dainty… not cracked and callused LOL -Run the pic by a friend before posting- see what she says? If sis tells ya stick with standard selfie unpuckered- HELL just believe it. She is trying to keep you from looking like a bamboo ass.

Pictures looking at the damn ground- WHY. Just why. Are you getting inspired by too much Tyra on Americas Next Top Model? Did you see one of those damn Kardashians pull it off and think this may be a cool thing to do? Well sis, let me be the first to say it is kinda weird. I mean okay,  all is fair in love and hot pics BUT this “I'm getting my picture taken but I am NOT looking at the camera, but I'm grinning like I want to look, yet wait… there’s a rollie pollie on the ground, I’ll focus there and hope this pic turns out well" style of the picture is a little extra, even for me. Quit. It is totally still social media acceptable to look AT the camera LOL (millennials I can't back this one, sorry)  99% of the time it will NOT turn out all "high fashion" like you hoped for. At best you risk looking distracted and like you are trying WAY too hard- just smile and show us those pearly whites!

Whelp that is my morning rant on selfies, until next time…

Wait! My crown is slipping

Unsure who really to give credit to, but whether it be Marilyn Monroe? Eleanor Roosevelt? Or any of the other women I have seen credited for this, whoever said the words, “well-behaved women rarely make history” was a wise lady nonetheless! Like many things in today’s hypersensitive world, that rhetoric can be flipped into meaning just about anything nowadays. However, for a vast majority of the population, it is a simple concept to grasp. It is not to say that women need to act recklessly to be valid, yet to remain unafraid of living and acting outside of the parameters of society’s rules. You can be a woman and not have to feel inferior to those around you. You can be a woman and still have a voice. You can be a woman and demand equal pay. You can be a woman and fight for equal rights. You can be a woman and own a business. You can be women and feel vulnerable (Superwoman did not always wear her cape). You can be a woman and feel insecure. However, most importantly, you can be a woman that lives unapologetically in her truth- never allowing anyone to belittle her vison or persuade her otherwise.  Instead, highlighting the significant impact that you alongside so many other women play in shaping our society not only for ourselves but also for our daughter of the future. When women succumb to the restraints society has historically placed upon us nothing changes, the world remains complacent. However, when women stand up to those obstacles, we watch those “cant’s” turn into “cans”, and we as a nation and as a world prosper.

Now do not get me wrong, I am in no hurry to take my bra off and start burning it on the rooftop. I just want to highlight the awesomeness that women bring to the table. Historically that invitation was never intended to be handed to us, but NOW we push men aside and make room on our own. No approval or explanation needed.

While progression is progression, I dream of a day where we do not have to feud and fight with male counterparts for our rightful place. Where we can TRULY be judged off the content of our character.  Never allow someone else to make you uncertain of your end goals or sway you from walking in your truth- you need validation from no one; YOU hold the key and be mindful that following other people’s rules may not always get you as far as you think. Success, love, and happiness is not a one size fit all approach. Stand firm in what you believe and take the well-behaved woman to the next higher level. Live like a boss and reign like a queen.

Sometimes breaking those norms simply begins with speaking out. Never think for a moment that misogyny is not real, because it is.  Hard to believe that some people still think a women’s role is to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the shadows of a man. But guess what?  NOW we reject the notion of trapping us in someone else’s textbook definition of what we should be and what we should become. Instead, we create our own pathway to the top!   

Moral of the story: Call into existence what you desire most so that your life aligns with your greatest expectations. Never be afraid to grow. I'll end with a little quote from Rhianna’s Harper Bazaar March 2017 the issue, "There's something so special about a woman who dominates in a man's world. It takes a certain grace, strength, intelligence, fearlessness, and the nerve to never take no for an answer." Until next time…

Basic is boring- Be a fountain not a drain

I am so happy you came to check out my brand new blog, Everyday Girl Spin! It has only been up for 2 days and based upon my site hits and likes, it is off to a relatively decent start for a rookie; thank you all for that. As a mother, a Graduate student, a full-time worker, and a bride to be, starting such a huge venture certainly was not the ideal thing to do, but it felt right so here we are! As we collaborate through this crazy world of beginner’s blogging, allow me to foreshadow a bit toward the future of my blog!

To know me (if even in the least bit) is to know I am ALL about women empowerment. Not because it is the trendy thing to say but rather because it is vital to the world and our progression as a society. This blog is going to offer a lot of love and encouragement to women everywhere. All shapes, all sizes, no shaming, just fun! In a society historically structured for our failure, together we thrive and kick some serious inequalities in the ass. Empowerment is no simple task and for us as women, the number of things on our daily plates mount higher and higher each day. Regardless of your employment status, marital status, ethnicity, parental status or political leaning, in our walk through life we may be encountering some of the same obstacles. Of course, from the perspective of different shared experiences, we learn about ourselves and those around us.  Living free and unapologetically in my truth, I capitalize on my capabilities and strength. Securing closely my self-worth, intellect, and dignity, I advocate for other women to the same. By taking charge of our homes, our careers, and our goals, it sets the precedence for our futures.  
I realize that ‘how to’ blogs are the hot thing nowadays, but honestly, I'm too enthralled in SO many different amazing ventures, that nothing I create can be plain jane and basic; The randomness of my life will not allow for it J I find humor in the cheesiest things, I'm incapable of telling a joke without laughing midway through, and above all else, I have a voice that I want to be heard around the world. After all, as my mother would say, “a closed mouth never got fed”.

So just as an advance notice, I have a passion for a plethora of things. Brace yourself. This blog will be as random as my makeup bag. If you are anything like me, that is pretty damn random.  From all things girly girl like makeup tutorials and clothing reviews to blogs on my favorite shows like Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Queen of the South, and  Love and Hip Hop,  it is guaranteed to be all over the place.  Above all else, I am a connoisseur of knowledge (in and outside of the societal norms), so I encourage healthy conversation.

The moral of the story is that the words on your screen will be a direct reflection of my views, my experiences, my enjoyment, and my heart. I welcome you all to share in this oh so beautiful and fabulous ride! Until next time…

Lunchables Make Good Wedding food right?

Back on a wintery Christmas Eve in 2016, I got engaged! 7 years and a 4-year-old child later, the day had finally come. Completely enthralled at the moment and high on the excitement of being a soon to be bride, everything changed at that moment. Hell, I picked up a part-time job as a wedding planner and did not even realize the insane amount of work that came with the title of being engaged. Hindsight is certainly 20/20.  After I said YES, I literally cried my eyes out like someone took the last pair of Yeezy’s off the shelf right in front of my very eyes, it was official, and a wedding was certainly going down. Personally, I am of fan of lengthier engagements because why rush it.  We have been together for YEARS so we have plenty of time to cross our T’s and dot our I’s right?  Ladies just because you have the bling doesn’t mean you have to get married the week after, take your time. I thought to myself “c’mon, wedding planning cant be that damn difficult right.” I have watched enough TV and planned enough events to get how this whole thing was supposed to work- or so I thought. HOWEVER, as life has a funny way of doing, I have been proven WRONG, oh so WRONG!

Almost immediately, I hopped into action. Without some Pinterest checklist or unhelpful Facebook comments, I sat the ball in motion on my own and MY WORD, that ball has not quit rolling yet! Wedding planning is kind of like dodge ball. Weird analogy right? While you are busy eyeballing the big kid with all the force to throw the ball WAY too hard, it is REALLY the other little piss ants that ultimately take you out the game LOL- for me, CATERING COST was those little piss ants. Main dishes, side dishes, and dessert bars are overtaking my world. I have nightmares about napkin colors and aisle runners. Well okay not really, but the shit is insane nonetheless. Did the dramatic appeal work? J

Again, I digress. Within about a month or two, the wedding party was picked out (totally not a hard decision to make on either side because both he and I have had the same squads our entire lives), the date was set, and the rough draft, (like the roughest of rough drafts) of the guest list was created. THIS is where it got tricky. NO ONE explained to me that in order to have enough money to feed your wedding guest, you need to start saving that money around 12 or 13 years old LOL. Maybe I should have asked for catering money for my high school graduation gift 15 years ago hahaha. Just to put this in respective here is a few things I could have done with that money

1.       Put a down payment on a home

2.       Buy a whole OTHER used car

3.       Shave off money on student loans

4.       Put it in SAVINGS

5.       Donate It

6.       OR buy  2,700+ Twinkies (it is legit do the math)

…any of that! But instead it is selfishly going toward green beans and cake - who knew memory could be so damn expensive? There are plenty of fun ways to get around it, but if you plan on serving a 'meal' verses snacks, be prepared to pay up sisters! ** Word of advice: if I could redo the food, I would seriously do heavier appetizers instead of more formal food ** One catering service for two types of meat, two sides, and salad wanted nearly $5000.00 WHATTTTT? I hope your mouth dropped like mine did. Even crazier, they had the nerve to say that it does not include silverware or napkins GEEZ LOUISE right. Never. No way. Nada. Nope. I mean really this isn’t just me being bougie with filet mignon, or lobster, we're talking basic ass chicken and tenderloin (I wanted to jump off a bridge). I have convinced myself that the coordinator was drunk sending me quotes like that for 120 people. Do you understand that if I would have been a naïve bride and settled for a $5000.00 meal…?  I would have hired someone to go table to table making sure every single morsel on EVERYONE's plate was clean, like SUPER damn clean LOL No leftovers, no extra food on the plate (not even a bite), dammit for that much money, everyone was going to eat until they puked!!  But guess what; I am much started then that, so we went through an actual steak house, better food, and less money. WIN WIN right! So future brides DO YOUR RESEARCH! They will try to entice you with flowering language and good foreshadowing for your special day but remember, you are not the Beyoncé and Jay-Z, you are not Meghan and Prince Harry. You are not expected to keep up with anyone’s style or preferences but your own J Facts are 90% of your wedding guests will remember the experience over the food. Call around to everywhere-even places you think do not cater. You will be shocked to see some of the deals that restaurants and private catering companies or even privately owned restaurants can offer up. Finding caters can be an extensive process, so be prepared to google until your fingers fall off, ask a ton of questions, and be prepared to negotiate. Do not let them lead the process. Remember you are hiring THEM they aren’t hiring YOU.

The food cost definitely had an impact on whom we could invite and how many people. Before I was engaged, I had only been to a handful of weddings and didn’t have a huge point of reference. As a 32-year-old modern-day woman, I am learning that too many people nowadays set out on the whole wedding ordeal. I get it. Either 1) They wait to get married much later (a smart move I think) or 2. Opt for the courthouse option. No shade but the courthouse wasn’t an option for me. I wanted the experience. Didn’t have to be a wedding you see on TLC or something of the Kardashians (because like Rhi Rhi said “I get it how live, I live how I get it”) BUT I wanted this experience to be special for everyone involved- that was important to me. Surprisingly, being a bridezilla has not been a part of my journey, let us just hope I continue being a cool, calm, and collected bride (likely not, but cheers to wishful thinking lol) 6 months to go.  Regardless if everyone has to eat Lunchables with Capri-son drinks and Subway cookies, this wedding is happening dammitJ

Having a very little point of reference for how this entire process is supposed to work, I was flying by the seat of my pants. Unaware, uninformed, and unready for the insane factors that go into wedding planning I put on my adult pants and went to work networking, making calls, reading those annoying yet informative wedding magazines and then I discovered the AWESOMENESS of all that is Etsy! In my view, Etsy is for people that fail at Pinterest too much hahaha. They give up and pay someone else to do it. Call me a quitter, but hey, all is fair in the internet and weddings! BRIDES do not create more stress than you truly have to. I am 6 months away with a TON of stuff to still do, so hopefully I can take my own advice- we shall see. Seriously check out Etsy it will probably blow your mind! Wedding décor, floral arrangements, adorable save the dates and even bridesmaid dresses, all one click away! THEY are the true MVP in this process.  Until next time….

Potlucks are petty

In life, I have encountered many people with phobias and fears. Though my own personal list is not as extensive, my laundry list of fears is still relevant as shit to me lol. Oceans and just about any kind of devilish creatures (most commonly known as insects), top my “oh hell no” list. This is only blog numero dos so allow me to put one thing in perspective early on: when it comes to bugs, I am the biggest candy pants in the land. Oceans are avoidable, but insects I cannot... I will not... Ill scream... or if god forbids it touches me… I will cry. Not just some tears, but more like that crazy half cry, half panicked ugly cry from the TV sitcoms. Eh. Dramatic much? Yep.  Don’t judge me -we don’t do that here right? J

Nevertheless I always default back to my natural plan of action with those hellacious insects, I get my weapons and go to work- luckily it only requires a press of a button and then BOOM all gone! Complete and utter destruction. Who would have known that hair spray, oil sheen or literally anything else in an aerosol can could be so damn effective and require such little work on my behalf; certainly my weapon of choice (insert pat on the back). Oh, wait. Did you all think I was using a fly swatter? The good ole catch and release method? Nope. ** Disclaimer: I apologize in advance to my insect connoisseurs friends, but hey, a girl has to do what a girl has to do. After all, I was never taught the politically correct way to kill an insect. For now, my aerosol sprays get the job done. Sorry. Please do not infiltrate me with bug protest. I really meant no harm.

Aside from devil, bugs you know the one thing that hairspray cannot kill. A workplace potluck ahhhhhhh- I would take the Pacific Ocean and a handful of spiders any day over the pool of germs and awkwardness that company Potlucks breeds. Let’s be real, there is no pleasant way to walk up to a mountain of dishes with people fawning over it like the last limb on the Walking Dead and say to a fellow coworker “Y our food looks like trash” “I refuse to eat that mess’” or “Ewww what’s in this mystery dish”?” Instead, nowadays I conveniently find myself on a diet every single time a potluck rolls around OR I ask God of forgiveness and flat out lie to avoid the pressure of eating mystery meats- So gross.  A few years ago, I literally turned down dry ass looking spaghetti in a plastic ice cream bucket (YES an ice cream bucket). I mean come on, a potluck display and your home display should NOT be one in the same. At least TRY to class it up a bit. Was a basic ass bowl not available? You just had to go for the ice cream tub huh? That was IT for me;  I cannot. Whatever lie you have to tell... tell it, I am sure you will not regret that decision.  

Now allow me to preface my view with this, I totally understand it saves money, I totally understand it is a wide variety of food and snacks and even a useful way to get a department together for a good meal BUT the facts remain, like the movie said, I AM JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! I am never overly anxious to dive into a gourmet spread of uncertainty and germs. How can something that smells so good, look so bad- oh the trickery in the workplace. Before diving in, be mindful of the contributors. We all know that handful of sketchy ass coworkers that could not serve you food if your life depended on it. Not a cookie, not a salad, not a dessert, NOTHING. Why? Because they are sketchy and sketchy, people must be watched duh.  Would it be asking too much to require a Potluck questioner before you are deemed fit to serve at a public event LOL?  Have any animals? Primarily anything, that can hop on counters. So CATS there I said. Cat owners I know you love your cuddly little creatures of habit but YOU cooking for me is a Simon Cowl kind of NO. Remember that coworker you saw walk out of the stall and toward the exit without washing their hands!? Yea that is another solid NO for me. If you do not do it at work, you surely are not hand washing at home. You can only fool the receptionist not us J

 Over the years, I have become that person. The potluck police as I call it. I patrol for anything unopened or store brought. It is a way to paint the illusion that you are down for this random collection of germs and gossip around the discolored macaroni salad, when in reality, I am only browsing through for things with the Sam’s Club, Kroger, or Walmart labels attached.  

Then last but certainly not least, you have the “touchers”- those are probably the WORST kind of Potluck attendee and THOSE people should be banned from ALL workplace events where food is involved. As if it was not troublesome enough that about 90% of the staff is suspect as hell every other day, now you have to watch to see if these unbothered “touchers” are going to strike again around the potluck table. Like kryptonite with one touch, the end is near LOL UGH. It seems acceptable to say “oh I don’t want to eat anything that’s been touched” although you still get side eye, whispers and probably accusations of being bougie…. Oh well. I will take bougie over salmonella any day. Your belly will thank you later and any public scrutiny that follows, hope they get a splinter in the crack of their ass. Simple right?

Overall, before you get a scoop of Betty’s macaroni and cheese or go in to eat Tina’s mystery dip, just think about it. To leave you with a little rhyme to remember when your boss says its Potluck time….

Just repeat after me a little potluck theater:

Roses are Red and we all need cash,

Do not eat those devil eggs

Put that shit right in the trash J

Spitfires and Sunshine

So, here we are! I tip toed on the line of rationality over whether to blog or not but you know what... If Joey Fatone can  still get jiggy with it and if Justin Timberlake can make moose clothing look good at the Super bowl, ** and by good I mean... incredibly awkward and odd, but sexy in an over 35 kind of way. .. Then anything is possible RIGHT!? I've always been semi decent at these awkward first time introductions, but eh, I won’t bore you.  Instead Ill keep it short and to the point. I don’t have random things to sell you (I actually find these people super annoying and borderline odd), I don’t have any “get skinny fast” tricks (yea I know it eat lettuce, drink water and sweat… I get it) and I keep my clothes over social media- I love my followers but I won’t show my goodies for social media love, not my thing but its someone’s gig ( no judgement zone over here). Instead, I drink a shit ton of Starbucks while complaining about  the price each time,  reality shows are a staple in my home (the more ratchet the better)  and I have this really weird energy that seems to attract some people awesome people--- my social media followers are literally the best and my friends and I probably need our own show- shit gets REAL, you will see J To kick off this blog with no restrictions and a few shameless plugs here and there, try this on for size….  follow me on Twitter @IamMichia_B

So BOOM let’s get this awkward intro out

1. I am me- A few degrees in and with a lifetime worth of experience under my belt, I take solace in my mindset. Strong minded and strong willed with all the bells and whistles, fun and free I like me. Do I expect  this blogs to be everyone's cup of tea? Nope. But while my Twitter followers have certainly advocated for this blog, I will virtual hug any  haters and work to get them on board.  Ha! SIKE, that really translates into, "hey I am glad you’re checking out my blog, but if you're not a fan (insert middle finger) kick rocks. As Demi said, sorry not sorry. Don’t be a troll, be a beanie baby.. huh? What does that mean? Who fucking knows- just go with it J

2. My man and child are MUCH MUCH cooler than me, but I am still the queen of the kingdom, just call me Daenerys Targaryen. If you don’t know who that is, WELP, google it and subscribe to Netflix, you got to catch the hell up. I was late to Games of Thrones too, but don’t be me, get on that and quickly- no one will look at you crazy for not knowing what the hell is going on right? Do it for the culture, just watch the show.

3. You can always bribe me with O Charley's- why? Who knows, I have this strange liking for it AND after all their ranch is LIFE (I am not hard to please can you tell?) and Starbucks- yes I know that sounds basic as hell BUT again I am who I am lol. NOTHING cures a crazy day like a Salted Carmel Mocha Frappe. Never heard of it, go try it like RIGHT now, and tell me how it was. If you are down for cold coffee you wont regret it ( I digress)...

4. Im getting MARRIED... of course that had to be #4 not #1 right? Because I am woman hear me roar....  LOL. Had to know what I tolerate before you knew my love life right? This blog will be a rollercoaster of emotions and I am taking you all along for this whacky, expensive ass journey.  Ya’ll ready? PRETTY confident that in the next few months, I will be accumulating more gray hairs that I likely could imagine while contemplating napkin colors and fruit displays... yikes, wish me luck.

5. I am THE most random ball of energy you have probably met in your life. I smile a lot, listen intently and though I am no Dr. Phil, advice giving is kind of my forte. I am an honest one and sometimes I say things a tad to bluntly, but heeeeyyyy what’s that one political correct thing you are always suppose to say in these situations........ OH, yea..... Im a work in progress :)

So back to why you are here. If you are easily entertained, looking for a place to exchange ideas and knowledge,  but more importantly down to read the views of a small town girl with a big city perspective, check me out! Certainly not your basic kind of girl, but for all its worth, Im pretty witty, a slick talker by nature, extremely educated, obsessed with sports & fashion, all things politics and the WWE (yes! I said the WWE) only the coolest chicks watch wrestling :)  So if you like random, this blog will give you exactly what you need!!   After all, like Shannon the Dude from my favorite sports radio show said, "be a fountain not a drain" RIGHT?!?!  LOL- I can’t guarantee that you will always agree with what I say or that you will even care one bit about my journey, but if you dooooooo..... Brace yourself this will be one HELL of an awesome ride. As a thirty something successful woman in todays world, I have things I want to share. Whether its to help, to empathize, to educate or just to entertain this blog will cover it all. Looking for some honest girl chatter or want to know about my latest failed Pinterest project, I got you. From motherhood trials and tribulations, to winged eyeliner failures and every Pinteresty thing in between, share with me this crazy ride and together lets be open minded and free with our thoughts.  I hope to have you along for the ride- I am here for it and I hope you are too. Sheew, glad that is over, so let’s get to chatting, next blog soon to come!